Receiving and Giving - A New Perspective
Which is easier or more comfortable for you, giving or receiving?
For me, the answer comes quickly…giving. I learned a lot about the act of giving from my mom. Throughout my childhood and adulthood, I witnessed my mom making meals and desserts from scratch, designing and sewing several of my formal dresses for high school proms and sorority mixers, and volunteering at church.
She was always at the ready with a kind smile and an abundance of love to give. I can still remember waking up Sunday mornings to the smell of the hot griddle and the sound of the blender whirring up pancake mix.
Over the decades, she grew her love circle to include three grandchildren, six great grandchildren, and countless children and young adults who call her “Grammy” and greet her with hugs, competing for the two seats right next to her. At 84, she still brings a Ziplock bag filled with lollipops to church for the kids. Her eyes sparkle as the kids come running to her. It’s so touching to see how even after they pick their lollipop, they hang out and want to be with Mom. Her love is so contagious.
I worry about her sometimes (worry will probably be another topic in this year’s article lineup!), and I accuse her of over-giving and not taking care of herself. But when I look at her, it seems as if all the giving gives her so much joy. And that joy seems to invigorate her and could quite possibly be a big reason why she remains so young at heart, healthy, and quick-minded.
A thought came to me that sent me on a trail to find out more…could giving also be a form of receiving, and visa-versa, depending on a person’s perspective, presence, and intention?
This idea of the cyclical effect of giving and receiving reminds me of how I chose bodywork as my profession. When I developed an injury during marathon training, I found healing through practicing yoga and receiving massage. This experience of giving myself time to heal and improve my overall physical and mental health through yoga and massage inspired me to go deeper into learning how to assist others in their healing through bodywork. In my practice, I receive my clients by deeply listening in the traditional sense and with my hands. With this information, I can offer healing assistance through massage and Craniosacral Therapy. You receive what you need and give (let go of) what you don’t need (i.e., tension, stress, pain).
Let’s go deeper together with this idea.
To begin, I looked up the definitions of receive and give on a Google search. These definitions came from Oxford Language online.
Receive: verb. to greet or welcome, to be presented with, to experience.
etymology: from Latin “re”-back, “capere”-take. To take back.
To take back infers that what we’re receiving is something we already had. Perhaps this possession is more of a connection, a feeling, a perspective that is innately part of who we are. By giving ourselves permission to receive, we illuminate a part of us that may need replenished.
Give: verb. to freely transfer the possession of, to cause or allow, the capacity to bend or alter in shape under pressure, elasticity.
etymology: Old English “giefan” – to bestow, give to another
The last definition reminds me of a palm tree in a windstorm. It gives in to the wind because it’s receiving flexibility and stability from its malleable trunk and broad roots. Similarly, we can approach the act of giving by choosing ways to also stay replenished and supported.
“Give Everything You’ve Got!”
This sums up our competitive culture. While this can be motivating and give us that extra push we sometimes need to cross the actual or metaphorical finish line, there’s an unspoken but palpable expectation that we must be self-sufficient, super strong, and give our best and most at all times to win the game or stay relevant.
At times in our lives, we are challenged with caring for children, our elderly parents, and other loved ones, sometimes all at the same time. We have personal or work situations that can deplete our reserves well beyond what our bodies and minds can tolerate or sustain. Even in these extreme times when life pulls us in many directions, I’m curious how our giving can also create space to accept and receive reinforcements of energy and support.
The Significance of Receiving
In Brené Brown’s book Daring Greatly, she writes, “Receiving is one of the most powerful ways to cultivate connection and authenticity. We cannot give from a place of emptiness. It is through receiving that we open ourselves to the full, deep connection that leads to greater strength, resilience, and courage.”
Take a moment and reflect on how it feels to receive a gift, a compliment, a hug, a promotion, a “thinking of you” note, a bouquet of flowers, cuddle time with your pets or kids, a hot mug of tea. Do you fully experience and allow the moment to take you in (receive you) as you receive? Stay a little longer in these moments, just a few inhales and exhales more. This feeling of deep connection Brené refers to is available right in the moment, free of charge, and it can automatically reciprocate. Who’s giving? Who’s receiving?
A Simple Practice
These three simple practices suggested below embody the idea of Brené’s profound words. I love to practice them in the order they’re written, although Life could present these opportunities to you in any given order. The three practices are meant to meld giving and receiving like mixing two paint colors to get a blend.
The original colors of giving and receiving are still there, but a blend emerges to become something combined, something shared. In our human experience, this is the felt sense of love, belonging, and connection. Enjoy!
1. Receiving and Giving with yourself – Sit in your favorite room in your favorite spot, or go outside to a space where you can be alone for a few minutes. Place your hands over your heart, close your eyes, and take a few slow inhales and exhales. Feel the receiving of clean air and how it expands your body. Let go of the breath on the exhale, sending it outward, and notice yourself settling in and pausing, shoulders releasing, jaw relaxing. Repeat this inhale and exhale, feeling the effects of fully being with your breath. If your mind wanders off, simply say quietly to yourself, “thinking,” and return back to the breath.
2. Receiving and giving with the moment – Find something that brings you joy, like a card you received, a favorite room in your house, a piece of art, a photo of a loved one, a tree or plant, a candle you love to burn. Using your inhales and exhales in the practice above, inhale that object in and then exhale your gratitude to it. Repeat a few times until you feel a shift in your energy and mind.
3. Receiving and giving with others – When you’re with someone, either quietly or in conversation, take a moment to feel your breath and then really see them, receive them, take them in. Give them your full attention. It feels so wonderful to be seen and heard. You will experience different ranges of presence with the people you meet. When you have a receive/give moment with someone who embraces you with their full presence, it’s such a gift for both people to receive and be received. Notice how you feel.
In My Bodywork Practice
As I mentioned earlier in this article, my intention as a bodyworker is to receive the person. By listening deeply and receiving, I’m guided to how I can best give assistance to realign, replenish, and reset the body, mind, and spirit back towards peace and vitality. And that brings me so much joy! Sometimes the greatest healing occurs when we meet each other with wide open hearts and allow the connection to elevate us both. May you receive and give in ways that blend into moments of powerful connection and joy!
This blog and website do not provide medical advice. It is intended for general informational purposes only and does not address individual circumstances. It is not a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment and should not be relied on to make decisions about your health. Always check with your own healthcare provider before taking a new supplement and before making any significant diet, lifestyle, exercise or other changes. Never ignore professional medical advice in seeking treatment because of something you have read on this site. If you think you may have a medical emergency, immediately call your doctor or dial 911.
